Gina not only showed me that a woman can have an orgasm from a hug but also taught me to love my depressions and my suicidal thoughts.

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I didn’t know that some women can have an orgasm from a hug, but I found out when I hugged Gina the first time. As anyone can imagine, it was a great hug, but the circumstances were awkward. Gina and I had just been out on our first date, and she turned out to be a ‘screamer.’ Besides that, the hug took place in a shopping mall during rush-hour.

“Mmmmm …,” she said when I put my arms around her to say goodbye. …


This is how my dating expenses ended up becoming tax-deductible. With the help of an expert from the tax authorities, I wrote off all the expenses I had on sugar dating last year.

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It’s common knowledge that most successful artists or businessmen have a strong sex drive and I am no exception. Nothing has fueled my business and creativity more than my attraction to women. Harnessing the dream of a special woman before transmuting the energy into hard work helped me like nothing else in the process of making myself financially independent. According to the tax rules, all expenses necessary to run or grow your business are tax-deductible. For this reason, it seems absurd that I can’t tax deduct expenses for romantic dinners, jewelry, flowers, exotic traveling, and theatre tickets.

Last year I…


Do you think a burglar would rob your house if he or she was officially invited? Using my own homemade crime prevention method, I found out.

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Annie and I at one of her burglaries


This is the story of how I explored the life of a London sugardaddy and how money bought me, genuine love.

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Once a prostitute wrote to me on a dating site asking for 200 dollars for sex. When I offered her 400 dollars for love, she blocked me. In the same period, I had just started exploring the lifestyle of a sugardaddy in London. In sugardating the man is expected to support his partners financially. Because of this, I started wondering if it’s true that money cannot buy you love. Money is a powerful and addictive force, but if you use it wisely it can create emotional beauty such as trust, respect and freedom. …


The true story of my useless escape from masturbating men.

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“Wow!” Isabella exclaimed when together we landed in a bar in a sex club. “This club is huge, and have you seen their exhibition of sex toys?”

Isabella was wearing her new white French underwear and heels. Holding her hand, I was beside her, wearing only boxer shorts. All around us was the hustle and bustle of people of all sizes and ages who were having sex in different positions. We had just found a place to sit in the bar when a heavily overweight middle-aged woman climbed on top of the bar just beside me. While she carefully lay…


This is the story of how I found out that my dream partner was just a single slice of a whole person’s consciousness.

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Most people know the feeling of only being in love with a part of their partner. You see them in certain situations, and they open your heart. A moment later, they might be in a different mode that makes them unattractive or just plain uninteresting. A tree consists of many branches that together form the whole tree. In the same way, the consciousness of a human consists of many smaller characters that together form the entire person. Throughout my past relationships, I have numerous examples of women who had 2 or 3 aspects that would open me up and equally…


She helped me more than anyone, but she never knew how much I loved her. When after 45 years, I finally let go of her, my love life was forever transformed.

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1969: The year it started

She was my obsession for 45 years. Day and night I dreamed that one day she would be mine. In my endless struggles to win her heart, I had to develop resources that forced me to stay connected to my romantic and vulnerable part. Today I can see that she opened up a part of me that later became my source as a writer. It would take me more than 40 years to understand the meaning of our connection and to appreciate how she had transformed me. When I reached this point, I finally managed to show her how much…


Learn new words like: “Inquisition Tennis”, “Maturity Muteness”, “Taboo surfing”, “Suicide spouse” or “Megalomaniadespotism”.

Epilopening

Epilopening explained: An introduction to a book written after the completion of the book. An epilopening is a sign that the author didn't know what the book was about before the book was completed.

Our language is constantly evolving, which means that we are continuously developing new words, phrases and expressions. In this way, we are enriching the language, but usually, only in areas, we feel confident talking about. The purpose of this book is to help you, the reader, develop a vocabulary within areas that most people are not confident talking about. If you want to progress, develop and…


The story of how I became my girlfriend’s secret lover and how I rented myself a fake girlfriend to meet my real girlfriend’s sugar daddy.

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Carsten and Isabella in Bali

“I have just found a really great sugar daddy,” my girlfriend Isabella said when she called me from Bali. “His name is Walter, and he is stinking rich.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” I said. “Is he treating you well?”

“Yes,” she said. “We have seen some amazing places … Hold on … I will send you some pictures …”

A moment later, I received several images on my phone. In one of them, Isabella and Walter were holding hands in a romantic restaurant, and another was taken in Walter’s Ferrari. The rest were pictures of Isabella posing naked on…


I have been working within a field of sexuality that very few people have heard about. As I am grateful that so many have chosen to follow this publication, I would be happy to share one of my most rewarding experiences with you. Because of this, I have just published the story: “Hands-on Sexual Education For a Virgin.”

If you have questions about being a surrogate lover, please send them to me at carstengraff@gmail.com. I will be happy to write on more post answering some of your questions.

All the best Carsten Graff

Carsten Graff

Reflective and true stories about the tabooed areas of sex, love, language and health. www.carstengraff.com

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